My Blue Jihad: A personal struggle

​World Mental Health day - October 10th​ 
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline -- 1-800-273-8255

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Recently, I started anti-depressants for the 1st time in my life. I have struggled with depression throughout my life. In many ways, my art is the therapy that has kept my head above water - but as I get older I realize I can’t do this on my own any longer. My journey has become so complex and emotionally draining. The last few years with the state of this country and the troubling issues in my homeland has amplified my frustrations, disappointments and anger. ​"My Blue Jihad: A personal struggle" is a reminder that my struggle is not a lonely journey.

24”(h)x24”(w)x1.5”(d) canvas -- purchased by Jack Rosenberger (private collector)

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​In the years I have documented my physical change, it sparked a transition in my spiritual evolution and to a lesser degree my emotional maturity — to become more aware of the path I am traveling than any other time in my life. And the path leads to many places — some all at once — other moments one at a time. For I am realizing that life is not a linear plane.

With this realization I came to know the name of my painting — My Blue Jihad: A personal struggle. The key word is jihad for it stimulates various perceptions, conceptions and interpretations that are not always correct. Jihad is an Arabic word — the root of which is ja ha da, which means to strive/struggle (for a better way of life).

This is the key to my understanding of jihad for I believe like Sufis' (Muslim mystics) - jihad has two sides: spiritual struggle as the ‘greater’ jihad and the communal, external struggle as the ‘lesser’ jihad. Jihad empowers an individual to become proactive in the struggle to command the good in oneself and society and forbidding evil in the process.

“Blue Jihad” is my visualization of the personal spiritual struggle within me. It ebbs and flows like water against oil— a reminder that spiritual perfection is always yearned, but never achieved. And a reminder to hold sacred the moment for it is all I truly command in life. 
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National Suicide Prevention Lifeline -- 1-800-273-8255